Friday, April 27, 2007 @ 5:41 PM
What a vain attempt...
if i am not chosen,
this less than one year journey,
is just a fruitless one..
bewildered...
don't know whether i should clap for it..
laugh for it...
or cry for it...
i always think that i should not get too devoted to it...
so i didnt...
what if i am not approach ?
will my world become pandemonium ?
hahaha...
this will not happen...
it is because i know i had not been doing very well..
for this less that one year journey...
SMILE! (:
mugging in class !
i hate this crucial period...
books books books...
stress stress stress...
nag nag nag...
NON-STOP!
it will not stop until the exam is over...
sleeping in class is what i do daily...
hoping that i will not sleep during examination..
especially during chinese and english examination..
i tend to read the passage half way through and doze off..
what's more..
all the section is all about reading reading reading!!!
everyday remedial..
even teachers are tired of it...
reach home...
and i was so tired..
BOOKS again..
how can i survive?
i'm already so tired...
and i'm going to study again..
the only thing i will do is to doze off..
we even have test during this period..
can you imagine ?
one day more than 2 test...
and surprise test really will shock us to death...
HELLO !
you teachers really forgot that we are in NA stream ?
we have 3 years..
you guys are rushing like hell..
and this is what kind of life i am living in now..
NO LIFE...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 @ 6:02 PM
is it favouritism ?
or the fact is that malay's are much more better than chinese's ? no offence..
or i'm just so lousy ?
they have the devotion...
they have the potential...
do i have ?
i don't know...
all i heard now.. most of them is malay's...
after so long i'm still here waiting for the invitation...
when will it come ?
sooner or later ?
ARGH QUICK !!!
am i in the waiting list ?
or in the rubbish shoot ?
i want to know now !
why do you all want us to have this kind of feeling ?
hesitation...
NEVER MIND I HAVE THE PATIENT TO WAIT...
i have waited for so long...
and i belief that i can wait...
if it fails...
too bad...
no more next year...
this is the last chance...
whatever at least they will let me to participate..
5:13 PM
you know the truth...
and we know the truth too...
but do you know that we know the truth ?
i don't think so...
we dont want to leak...
we dont want to ask you...
if you did it wrongly..
tell us the truth...
are you going to hide it from us ?
never mind...
it's all over...
we don't blame you at all...
we had expected that this will happened..
we know that in future we need to make it clear...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007 @ 5:17 PM
everything seems so hard...
i'm as if lost in a desserted island...
wondering around asking for help...
it is just a very simple maths question..
and yet i cry for it...
everybody understand the concept...
but only me...
and i get so frustrated...
don't know why...
maybe because..
i can't believe that i can't solve it...
felt so demoralise...
the next lesson...
i still had that kind of frustrating feelings...
A undeserved punishment...
God took away my talent in maths...
izzit ??
now whatever i do is always half-hearted...
because of the pressure?
no i don't think so...
CONFUSION !
i realise that i lost interest in everything...
no more devotion...
all gone after the compeition...
what actually happened to me ?
i don't know...
i slept too much ?
hahahaha...
weird kind of feeling...
every lesson i feel like sleeping..
hoping the time will stop for me...
yesterday i was thinking that another had gone..
and today another had gone...
i didnt plan it well..
everyday looking at the dead timetable..
hope to change it all to Home Room..
not possible..
maybe after Mid-Year..
all will be Home Room..
looking at the exam timetable...
everything seems to end very fast..
but in real life it doesn't seems so..
Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 8:37 PM
7:15 PM
everything just ended after the 8 minutes...
something that is expected ?
or izzit jus happened unexpectedly ?
looking at those worrying faces looking at us when we were on the stage...
make me feel so encouraging...
eventough we didn't win...
anyway that is not important at all...
but i manage to have support from friends...
and i gain a lot...
this few months...
it really worth...
really worth a lot...
i tend to control my temper...
and anyway everything goes smoothly and i didnt even intend to scold anyone...
we kept telling each other after the 8 minutes everything will end...
i really felt very touch...
dont know why...
i really felt very relieved...
we waited for so long and finally the day came...
and now what i wanted to say is that i wanna go back to those days..
we get to stay back till very late...
that kind of feelings..
is GREAT...
only the 9 of us experience it before...
during the process..
we really hope it will end fast..
telling one another how many days left...
but now...
we really hope we will go back to those days...
when we just concentrate on the project...
hack care all the test and homework...
but why i dont feel sad at all ?
izzit because i know everyone is trying their very best...
and we even come back to school on friday night 10PM for rehearsals...
we even spend the last minute together before the day came...
teachers were not so disappointed cause they believe in us...
anyway the compeition goes like this...
we came and waited at the meeting room...
and miss lum help us with all the makeup she have...
went to ACS[independance]...
waited for our turn...
went to weigh in the structure...
afiq and i felt so nervous...
we pray that it will not be more than 18 grams...
when the number was moving..
my heart beat pumps beat by beat..
and it stops at 17.9g !
oh MY GOD !
we are such a lucky bunch of students...
went in and we are not to set up the stage before 8 min...
everybody was so shock...
but this is the rules..
we have to obey it...
so we spend about 3 minute to setup the stage..
there is no electric supply...
eventough we brought the extension wire there is no electric supply anw...
and we found the plug...
i think is we didnt communicate well just now...
i didnt tell afiq after the time starts he should start assemble it...
but anw he help up with all the props..
and went to start on the assemble...
we wear our props...
and the music starts...
this process i think it take about 3 minute...
plus the assemble time is 4min and 30 secs...
it means we left 3 min 30secs...
the act starts
what is in my mind ?
all the images throughout the journey..
every small little things came into my mind...
everything we done from the starting of the lesson...
when me and yuanfong heard the stop time...
we didnt know time flies so fast..
we were all stuck...
STOP !
is such a sensetive word...
we carry on by all means...
when we reach the structure...
they stop all the scoring...
when mr teo and mr lee came up...
i felt as if they were the saviours of us...
they talk to them...
i think rules did not say that the setup of the stage will be in the 8 min...
and this causes us to pack and go home...
but with our determination we continue to put on the weighs till it break...
this process really shows how hard we had work for so many months...
i should have ask everybody to continue with the skit...
but we break the structure and went home...
our structure and withstand 25 kg...
we went back by encouraging each other....
we use to share our dreams together with each other...
and now goodbye !
we will not have a chance to sit together like we did before...
all the jokes you guys use to tell me..
i will always remember it..
this will be part of my memory...
did we disappoint those who had support us..
came from pasir ris to dover just to support us ?
you have been the one for me...
you all make me realised that friendship is so important..
as we move out with disappointment plus a smile...
we didnt let our tears out maybe is because there's friends beside us supporting us...
your presence make us feel that we are the best...
we dont need any medals or prides...
we just want to let everybody know we did our best...
to team member...
we been through lots of hard times...
and even going to freak out in front of everything...
the last night we spend in school was a memorable one...
all our teachers came to support us at the last two hours before the day come...
all the fun we had...
lets promise each other that we will definately will remember the night by hard...
day after day...
time pass away...
we know that the day is going to come...
we really put in alot of effort...
everybody wearing the clothes we went to buy together...
wearing the props that we make ourself...
standing on the same stage...
having the same motive for the day...
and we definately deserve to get applause...
this team changes me alot...
i didnt know that friends is so important...
time is so important...
controling temper is so important...
saying hurting words everyday means alot...
and it changes me alot..
to mr lee and mr teo...
you two were good at nagging..
and i improve my nagging skills...
thanks for :
begging school keys from mr sam...
supporting us...
buying or finding food by all means...
i know that you all spend lots of money on us...
nagging at us...
you two are a very great teacher...
thankyou mr teo and mr david for driving us home...
to mr david...
this project does not concern you..
but you stay back with us for the last 2 hours...
buying food for us at late night...
sending us home at late night...
thanks alot !
to miss lum...
you are very wonderful...
you make us alive..
without you we will not know when to start...
thanks for the coaching, costume and makeup...
and of course the chicken snack...
and i really enjoy myself during the tedious trg..
hahaha !
you were like our mother...
taking care of every small little things...
to mrs teo...
thanks for supporting us...
buying hotdog and bread for us in the morning...
put lipsticks on my month to make me shine...
to all the d&t teachers...
thanks for letting us to mess up your room...
hope that you all will not have nightmare after seeing all the props...
and of course thanks for spending your precious time chit chating with us...
to supporters ...
you all are really a good supporter...
helping us to take our props...
and in the end..
i have nothing to take..
even my bag is taken..
hahaha !
we have lots of fun during the bus trip...
we were looking at the eye of singapore together...
taking pictures of it..
acting as if we are all shuan ku...
haha !
and of course thanks for not luffing at my appearence..
and tolerate my hyperness in the bus...
this is a secret share among us..
to bus driver...
thanks for purposely driving slow when we reach the eye of singapore..
and we actually bluff that we have 30 people...
but is actually have more props than people...
hahahah !
there are moments when i dont know if its real...
we are going to end it lidat ?
all we need to do is to find a way to beg our teachers to treat us...
hahaha !
therefore we went to tampines mall to have lunch..
we paid for our own meals..
but we manage to get a drink each from mr lee...
THANKYOU !
Saturday, April 07, 2007 @ 3:22 PM
There's a secret kept in one heart for very long.
And there is only one heart who knows that.
i always believe that telling other people your secret,
will make you feel better.
but now i realised that it will be better to keep in one heart.
nobody will know this forever.
this is a secret or memory between your heart and you.
which is something that is unique.
i really hate that kind of feeling,
when taking lots of courage to do or say it out.
maybe this make life more interesting.
i love this kind of life,
everything happen secretly.
Lots of ups and downs,
it takes lots of time to forget.
which make it so memorable.
i will never forget that.
there are moment which is dilemmas,
but i will make it through be myself.
i also realised that when sadness come.
"A fake smile is the only way to deal with it."
this make me feel better.
and the next day i will become a better person.
life is so incredible.
everything came and go so suddenly.
you never know what will happen.
this is why i love life so much.
tis' the way