i feel regretted to make you guys regretted...
if at first i join it..
things will not turn out this way..
a very very bad way..
no turning back anymore...
cos the performance is tomo..
i told clarissa and shuting,
if they are going to bring in outsider to teach us..
if they are going to speak malay to communicate..
if they are not going to turn up for rehearsal...
i will definitely will stop all this..
if i cant stop it, i will be pissed off...
and they will know what to do..
now the problem is nobody is the one stopping and scolding..
they think that the junior will not scold them..
but they didnt know that i will scold them..
why cant we just be like, when i was sec2..
those day we were very bonded with the sec3..
example : now i can talk to joey or other sec4 like a friend..
but now is like..
sec3 have higher position because we have more experience...
i think the sec2 feels that too..
but it just that they dun dare to voice up..
and if it continues like this..
next batch and next batch will follow us..
and there will be no spirit..
so now we should set a very good example treating everybody equally..
talk like a friend..
without any hatred, jealousy and pro...
but the first step we need to do is to look at ourself..
if we cant do, so do not expect other people to do..
is just like selling things to teenager..
if you are selling things that you are not going to buy..
will they buy ?
so ask yourself first whether you can do it before commanding people..

can you imagine that i forgot everything
that happen during those wonderful days with the redshirts...
i finally realized it while i was talking to new redshirt and a pink shirt..
i finally know how i behave when we were together..
and i find it so childish..
i was like shouting at everybody scolding everybody even the teachers...
but now i dun even think i have a chance to do this again..
this is so heartening..
people i hope we will get back to time where we were so bonded..
scolding each other, fooling around and selling crap to each other..
being ethu to do anything..

just being frank..
all i could feel is still hatred jealousy around..
between leader and leader..
people will never learn...
maybe it take times...
found out that this batch and last year batch is full of malays..
i not trying to be racists...
is just that dun take this adv and make it to a disadv..
i mean you have lots of malays friends means adv..
but you misuse it example..
since alot of them is malay..
let just use malay to communicate...
THIS IS SO BAD!!!

misuse authority another factor..
sec 3s all always misuses authority..
i mean cant you all just be humble when you were given a task..
especially the malays..
why do you all have to be like so action in front of everybody..
why must you guys have to show them you were like a leader..
and i thought if you are a leader you no need to show it out..
because you are already a leader...

evil thoughts another factor..
now i having lots of evil thoughts...
i always thought that being with the redshirts is more fun than staying in class with my friends..
but now i would rather stay in class..
stop all those bad example flying into me..
and get myself corroded..
i dun feel like helping up tomo..
maybe i dun feel that kind of spirit anymore..

i think that teachers are not stepping in...
because they think that we can solve this ourself before we can do big business..
if this kind of problem we can't solve between each other..
how are we going to present outside..
maybe some parts because we were like this because we had not enough event or camps..
that will bond us..
and this can be another approach for us..
and all this thoughts is flying around me..

my so called big money is ''$3.30 per person''
which is so pathetic..